IT'S A CHOICE

A 92 year old petite man, who was fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionablly combed and shaved perfectly - even though he is legally blind - moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making moving necessary.

After many hours of waiting in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, his aide provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. "I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight year old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mr. Jones, "she said, "you haven't even seen the room yet."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied. "HAPPINESS IS SOMETHING YOU DECIDE ON AHEAD OF TIME. Whether I like the room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day. Old age is like a bank account - you withdraw from it what you put in. So my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in that bank account! Free your mind from hatred and worries. Live simply. Give more and expect less. And always keep depositing."




 

Don't Make Assumptions

Here is a wonderful reminder about how our lives can change if we replace assumptions with clear communication.

From Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements:
"Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

No Regrets!

Bronnie Ware worked for many years in palliative care – with patients who had gone home to die. She was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. She learned that people grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. She also learned five common regrets shared by her patients:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

Tell people how you feel about them, whether you love them, disagree with them or want to help them.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.

Choose happiness.

Jared, a wise and beautiful friend of mine from Kenya, recently shared this story with me.

An old dog saw a puppy chasing its tail and asked, “Why are you chasing your tail?” The young puppy replied, “I have mastered philosophy; I have solved the problems of the universe which no dog before me has solved. I have learned that the best thing for a dog is happiness, and that happiness is in my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it, and when I catch it, I shall be happy.”

The old and seasoned dog stared at the little puppy and responded, “My son, I, too, have paid attention to the problems of the universe in my weak ways and I have formed some opinions. I have realized that happiness is a fine thing for a dog. And that happiness is in my tail. However, I have also noticed that when I chase after it, it keeps running away from me. But when I go about my business as usual, it follows me.”

Jared's message is this: Despite the hard times that many of us are encountering now, just go about your daily business as usual and fulfillment will come. Continue wearing a positive attitude and positive things will come your way.

Thank you, Jared!

Oh The Places You'll Go

Nearly everyone is familiar with the classic children’s books The Cat in the Hat or Green Eggs and Ham. Reading Dr. Seuss was and still is a rite of passage for many young children. Although these books are practically a staple among young readers it might surprise you to know that Dr. Seuss's first book To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street was rejected 27 times before finally being published by Vanguard Press. This kind of rejection might have discouraged a person from ever accomplishing their dream, but not Dr. Seuss. At the time of his death on September 24th, 1991, Theodor Seuss Giesel, had written and illustrated 44 children’s books, he had his books translated into more than 15 languages and over 200 million copies found their way into homes and hearts around the world. His work provided a source for television specials, Broadway musicals and major motion pictures. He also received two Academy Awards, two Emmys, a Peabody and a Pulitzer Prize. All of his amazing awards aside, most importantly, he brought joy and a love of reading to millions of children around the world all because he didn’t let a little thing like being rejected – 27 times – stop him from achieving his goal. The point is, keep at it! If you believe in yourself and you believe in your dream, no one can stop you from realizing what you set out to accomplish.

"OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

THERE IS FUN TO BE DONE! THERE ARE

POINTS TO BE SCORED. THERE ARE GAMES TO BE WON."

From: Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Are You on the Right Frequency?

Recently I was talking with someone about connecting with Source Energy (or the Universe, or God, or Spirit or whatever you wish to call it). They said that Source Energy is always the same; its inherent nature never changes. It is always there and it is always flowing - it never stops, changes direction, or changes its frequency.

One analogy is to think of the radio: if Source Energy is on frequency 98.2 and you are on frequency 95.5, then you need to change your frequency to connect with Source Energy.

If you feel "disconnected" from Source Energy you might simply be on the wrong frequency or you might simply be traveling in the wrong direction. Sometimes all you have to do is turn around and change your direction!

Never Give Up

Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. He later wrote, "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except in convictions of honor and good sense. Never, never, never, never  give up."

The Underlying Current of Relatedness

Why does it feel so amazing to be part of a GROUP? So grand? So fulfilling? Because within a GROUP lies the underlying current of relatedness. When someone shares, you relate, connecting person to person, human to human. The GROUP process draws from each individual’s wisdom and experience. You learn from each other. You gain greater insight and knowledge from each other. You help, support and encourage each other…and in the process you help yourself. The GROUP becomes a significant resource and empowers everyone!

Seasons are shifting, change is in the air!

Today's equinox marks the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere. Seasons are shifting, change is in the air! “How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Swiss-American Psychiatrist and Author

THE DALAI LAMA

The Dalai Lama was asked recently what surprises him the most about humanity. He answered, "Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

Use these wise words to guide you in your own life. Ponder what is really important. Enjoy each moment for what it is, rather than seeing it as a means to an end.